Hello dear cult members! Tonight I am discussing Stephen King – and is he actually any good? It doesn’t matter how many billion books he’s sold, that doesn’t necessarily make the geezer a good writer – or does it? I’ve spoken to loads of people who’ve read Fifty Shades of Crap, and I think every single one of them has said that whoever wrote it would barely pass their GCSE in English. But it still made a skipful of money.
Before I make my judgement on Mr King, I just need to tell you that I am still looking for new cult members to make my life easier. All you need is a big bank account, be very naïve, and be the sort of person who will do as they are told. And if you have a big flash car you’d like to contribute to me, er, I mean the cause, then even better! OK, that’s the advert over, back to King and his massive output!
A lot of people think King is not great because he churns out book after book. Well, I think that’s quite a talent. Think about how long it generally takes us lot to get 70 or 80,000 words down on to paper. For some it takes a lifetime. We probably spend twice as long as necessary doing so, as we don’t have that capability. And that, combined with his imagination is why I think King is GREAT! He doesn’t fuck about with insecurities, wondering if he can write or not and all that palaver – he get’s on with it, makes it up as he goes along, uses lots of great ideas combined with twists and turns and then…
Don’t show off!
How many times have you read a book and you know the author is trying to show off with their range of vocabulary? Yeah, that pisses me off, and lots of other people too. King doesn’t try to impress – he writes for you to read it, it’s that simple. He doesn’t want to piss you off. Yeah, it looks easy, but how many authors write in order to impress instead of to be read? the last three books I’ve bought (all apparently ‘best sellers’ have all ended up NOT being read), as they were trying to be too clever (or the dialogue was shit and pretentious). OK, I admit I could be totally wrong – I have been drinking!
Stephen King says he writes while listening to extremely loud music, from Fine Young Cannibals to The Animals – and he says that it helps him. I bet his neighbours fucking love HIM!
But let’s have a quick look at how creative King is – Carrie, The Shining, Salem’s Lot, The Dead Zone – jesus, I could go on for ever! King is a genius, he really is, because he does ‘simple’ better than anyone else. He tells stories that people want to read. Yeah, his books are sometimes too thick to bother with (Stick to 400 pages, Steve!). But his mind knows how to connect with others! OK, I’ve rambled enough now, and I know you lot have more interesting things to do, like feed the cat, but thanks for reading this.
I am thinking about asking Stephen to join my cult. I think he’d enjoy a bit of dancing naked at midnight out in a field – while I sneak in to his room and steal all his great ideas off his laptop!!! Please forget I said that last bit.
OK, as a fabulous author myself, it’s time for me to go and be enigmatic around the house in my Stephen King PJs!
Take care all my cult members!
Check out my latest novel: Confessions of an Invisible Man by Chronos Publishing.