You know, it’s not easy being an enigmatic author – if it’s not one thing, then it’s another. This morning I realised that my chaise longue needed a brush down, and my smoking jacket needed a dry clean. Then, as I was wandering around my spacious Kensington apartment, I glanced to my right and noticed a crack in my pipe rack. What a horrendous day, I hear you all say, and you’d be right!
So, today I have decided to simply drink a G&T with a splash of lime, and contemplate my future. As I look up at the shelf left empty for literary awards, it is still empty. How the literary establishment like to torture me with their petty grievances. Just because I haven’t written a decent book, they decide to punish me by leaving me off the Booker Prize list. It’s a shambolic system!
So, enough about my day-to-day turmoil, what exciting things have we got coming up soon? Well, to start with we have an interview with Paul Kelly, whose debut novel (a black comedy called Jim Reaper) is just about to be launched….
Then we have an interview with Sam Eastwood, the brilliant designer who has designed the front covers of both my novels. We’ve worked together before, and she’s going to tell you about when Harry Hill offered her a biscuit: “Go on, they’re Marks & Spencers…” he said. Of course, she couldn’t turn that offer down….
OK, some of you might be wondering when I’m going to write my next comedy blog – well that’s coming up soon too. I’m going to sign of with a little joke I wrote the other week.
News: In Las Vegas, a van carrying a dozen Elvis Presley impersonators was involved in a crash with another vehicle. No one was seriously injured, but they were all shook up…
See you soon, darlings! x