Here’s my latest news. My new comedy cookbook is simmering nicely. Will it be out in time for the lucrative Xmas market? It’s anyone’s guess!
LATEST NEWS!
Well, if you’ve been following my writing projects, you probably know that I’m currently writing my next novel ‘To Be Tendulkar’ (see screenplay news item!). It’s coming along well (I have to say that, just in case the publishers are reading this!)…
I’m also two thirds of the way through my comedy cookbook -‘Cooking for Cretins‘ is my working title – although when I meet up with the publishers this week, I think they’ll say it’s a ‘rubbish’ title. Anyhow, I’m going to ‘fight my corner’ – let’s see what happens!
How to get your screenplay read!
How did I get from having zero contacts in the movie world to working as a ghostwriter for one of the world’s top screenwriters?
It’s all in here, with tips and advice to get your work seen by people in the industry who can help get you noticed!
It’s available for £3.99 click here
SWAMP STUNNERS is out NOW!
My new ebook for performers is out now through all the usual magic dealers, but better still – why not buy it direct from me and get some bonus material?? Contact me for details. Retail price is just £7.99!
Join my comedy cult!
It’s free and there are no weird initiation ceremonies, although to be honest, I am re-thinking that one!
I’ve always wanted to be a cult leader, and I’ve got lots of ideas of what we could do. My neighbour says we can borrow one of his sheds for meetings (he has two!!) and we can get cracking on doing all the cool things that cults do!
Of course, I’ll be the cult leader – and just to give you a taste of what I’ll be introducing. Every Tuesday I will be sacrificing a lemon drizzle cake!
Confessions of an Invisible Man: Out NOW!
Chronos Publishing has released my second novel: Confessions of an Invisible Man is now OUT. It’s a rom-com with a difference – the lead character is see-through! Crikey.
King Kendo!
Remember Kendo Nagasaki, the wrestling legend? Well, the news is that I’m currently co-writing (with Nigel Fitzhenry) a screenplay of his ‘no holds barred’ life story. More on this soon!
Planning a novel?
“I wouldn’t know where to begin!” is a popular phrase when people ask me about how I plan a novel. I think it’s not that difficult if you take a few simple steps. Read my blog about planning a novel from scratch… coming soon!
The author at work!
The photo above is of me trying to look all ‘Oscar Wilde’. This selfie was taken in my bedroom, as I was just about to finish the first draft of my second novel.
Mike McClean…
I’ve been writing comedy material for Mike McClean for probably around 12 years now, and all his success is entirely down to me! OK, I’m exaggerating a bit there, but hey – this is my blog, so I’ll write what I want!
Anyhow, Mike is a brilliant comedy mindreader and performs all the world doing his stuff. This morning he was a guest on Good Morning Britain, where he started out many years ago! You may remember his presenting Th Big Breakfast on Channel4 or interviewing all the Hollywood celebs on the Richard & Judy Show… Nice one Mike!
One liners!
*My girlfriend bought a Rottweiler and wanted something to go with it, so I bought her a scrapyard!
*I took my girlfriend to a nice restaurant and it was all going well until she found a condom in her soup. And to make matters worse, the waiter was still wearing it.
*I’ve just moved to York from Southampton because my parents are very ill… and I didn’t want to be near them…
*I’ve just bought a puppy and named it after my ex-girlfriend. It’s called ‘Two-timing-lying bitch.’
TO BE TENDULKAR SCREENPLAY IS NOW DONE!!
My next novel is called ‘To Be Tendulkar’, and I’ve just finished the screenplay! It’s hilarious – even though I say so myself, and is bound to make me into a billionaire within the next few weeks. BTW, I am on medication!
Iconic Indian cricketer Sachin Tendulkar plays a part in my next novel, as the lead character wishes ‘To Be Like Tendulkar after beating The Wishmaster in a wrestling match and is granted a single wish! …And his wish comes true, turning his life upside down, and jeopardising the love of the girl who REALLY loves him! It’s another rom-com with a twist!
Uri Geller gives ‘Let’s Hear it for the Boy’ Five stars *****
World famous psychic and spoon-bender Uri Geller gave my first novel ‘Let’s Hear it for the Boy’ five stars, calling it: “The perfect summer read – absolutely hilarious!” And the good news is we didn’t even have to pay him to say so! He’s a great guy, but I’m still not letting him anywhere near my kitchen cutlery drawer. And that’s final Uri!
My current top 5 reads
The President’s Hat by Antoine Laurain: Someone finds the President’s hat and then strange things happen…
Lonely Boy by Steve Jones: The autobiography of The Sex Pistols guitarist. Great story, lots of swearing!
The Descent of Man by Grayson Perry: Grayson talks about masculinity
The Immortalists by Chloe Benjamin: If you knew the date of your death, how would you live your life?
The Five People you meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom: An old man gets killed saving the life of a child, then meets five people in heaven…
Graham Hey's Comedy writing BLOG thing! 